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Copyrighted. 1895- 



VIVISECTION, 



AN ILLUSIONARY SKETCH. 

— V 



lY A. W. FLETCHER. 



CHARACTERS. 



DR. LYNNDELL, a Discoverer. 
DR. S A WE M OFF, his Assistant. 
TIMOTHY MURPHY, itho sells Ms body. /<<?>^'*?1R/CHr''^ 

MURPHY^S DOUBLE. i%cti,i ^^m 

GOTTLIEB HANSLAOER, rather eomirdly. \ Ubyi?S|lOi»; 






SCENK.—Doctor's Office. 



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Dr. Lynndell, (discovered seated at desk reading news- 
paper), " Here is another case where a patient has died on the 
operating table, and this time it was only a finger that was 
amputated ; but as the patient had heart disease, the chloro- 
form caused his death. Now, to show that these deaths are 
not always the fault of the attending physicians and surgeons, 
I refer to the case of a very wealthy New Yorker, who recently 
died on the operating table, even before the operation was 
commenced ; death being caused by the anaesthetic admin- 
istered. The attending physicians and surgeons, were in this 
case, of course, the very best that money could procure. Now, 
if my newly discovered anaesthetic had been used these lives 
would undoubtedly have been saved. 

"This new anaesthetic I discovered while recently traveling 
in India, where it has been in use for many years, by the un- 
fortunate widows of natives, to destroy all sense of feeling, 
before undergoing the horrible ordeal of being burnt to death 
along with their late husband's corpse. 

"This anaesthetic is not used, as those now in vogue are 
used, but is simply applied externally as a liniment, and it not 
onl}^ instantly destroys all sense of feeling, in the part to which 
it is applied, but also causes temporary paralysis to that par- 
ticular limb, which paralysis lasts for several hours after the 




application ; this prevents the patient from moving the limb to 
be operated upon. I have been experimenting on inferior 
animals (such as dogs, cats, and so-forth), for some time, but 
have never as yet tried it on a human being. Vivisection is 
objected to by many, especially by the Women's Branch of the 
S. P. C. A., who seem to think it extremely cruel and entirely 
unnecessary in the study of surgery. But we doctors think it 
a great help to us, and in fact without vivisection we would be 
unable to discover some things that we are enabled to do by 
using a living subject to experiment upon. I have inserted 
an advertisement in the newspapers for a human subject, and 
I have received answers from two persons. Here is the first 
letter (reads letter). 'Dr. Lynndell : Dear Sir : In answer to 
your advertisement, I write to offer you my body for experi- 
mental purposes, as I seem to be one of those ne'er-do-well's, 
who never succeed at anything, it will not matter much if I 
die in being operated upon ; but as my parents are very old 
and poor, and have no one to depend upon, I feel that I ought 
to do something. I therefore will want to make arrangements 
with you to provide for their wants in case I die. Yours truly, 
Tim. Murphy.' Here is the other letter, (reads letter) : 'Dear 
Doctor : I saw your advertisement and I write to oifer you my 
body for experimenting on. I do not care if I die, as my wife 
says if I don't stop cultivating this sunset tinge on my probos- 
cis, that she intends to kill me with contempt. She is from 
Boston. I don't know what she means, but anyway I would 
rather die by you and be some use in dying. Let me know 
when I can see you. Yours, Gottlieb Hanslager.' 

" I have answered both these letters and have made appoint- 
ments with their writers to meet me here this evening. It is 
time for them now. (Bell rings). I suppose this is one of 
them." (Tim. Murphy walks in). 

T. M.— "Is this Dr. Lynndell?" 

Dr. L. — "Yes! what can I do for you?" 

T. M. — " I come in answer to the letter I received to call 
this evening." (Door bell rings). 

Dr. L.— (Looks at both letters). Enter G. H. 

Dr. L. — "Are you Gottlieb Hanslager? " 

T. M. — "Do I look like a Dutchman? No, my name's 
Timothy Murphy." 



G. H. — "I'm the man that's got the name of Gottlieb Hans- 
lager, and I guess you got my letter. ' ' 

Dr. L. — "Well! Let's to business. What are your terms? 
How much do you want?" 

T. M. — " I want $2500 for each limb that you take off, and 
if I die while undergoing any of the operations, you must pay 
to my parents $10,000. Here is their address." (Handing 
card). 

G. H. — "You can take me at same figures." 

Dr. L. — [to both]. "Are you sound of limb in every way? 
as I want none but a perfect subject ; for I intend to preserve 
all your bones and re-unite them after your demise into one 
complete skeleton." 

G. H. — [Showing alarm all through these remarks]. "Holy 
smoke! Oh, my! but I'm afraid I'll catch cold, being left 
naked like that," 

T. M. — "I am perfectly sound in every way." 

G. H.— "So am I." [T. M. and G. H. vigorously move 
their arms and legs to show Dr. and the audience that they 
have no artificial limbs]. 

Dr. L. — " I agree to pay you both the amounts stated in 
said conditions. I will have you both sign these contracts 
after my assistant, Dr. Sawemoff fills out blanks." [Hands 
contracts to wings.] 

G. H. — [Pointing to skeleton chart]. "Doctor, what is this 
hanging up?" 

Dr. L. — " That is a chart representing the human skeleton." 

G. H. — "You don't say so ! Say, Doctor, you might tell 
us something about it." 

T. M. — "Yes, I would like to know something about it my- 
self, as I know Dutchy will look like that before you get 
through with him." 

G. H.— "What! I guess not." 

Dr. L. — [Explains the chart, at the same time pointing to 
the various sections]. "This is the skull, it is a globe of bone, 
or rather several bones closely united. It contains the brain 
proper or Cerebrum, and the small brain or Cerebellum." 

G. H.— "Sarah who?" 

T. M. — " Don't interrupt the Doctor. I want to learn some- 
thing." [T. M. at each succeeding remark made by G. H. 
looks disgusted. 



Dr. L. — "The brain proper receives sensations, and calls 
out motion, and is in communication with the whole body by 
the nerves. Those nerves which carry impressions to the 
brain are called sensory nerves, and by means of them we feel, 
see, taste, smell and hear ; when we, for instance, wish to close 
the hand, a message goes from the brain " 

G. H. — "A telephone message?" 

Dr. ly. — "Along a motor nerve to the muscles of the fore- 



arm- 



G. H. — "Who is the motorman?" 

Dr. L. — "They then contract and the fingers are closed on 
the palm " 



G. H— "It takes the palm." 

Dr. L. — "The face consists of the eyes, nose, mouth and 
chin." [G. H. touching each of these on his own face as men- 
tioned.] "The muscles of expression change the expression 
of the face, as we smile or frown, or look sad " 

G. H. — [Smiles]. " As when we bury our mother-in-law." 

Dr. L. — "The jaw-bone grinds the lower teeth against the 
upper teeth, and so we chew our food " 

G. H. — "What does this grist-mill do when we don't have 
any to chew? " 

T. M. — "Oh! take a rest." 

Dr. L. — " From the skull descends the spinal cord or mar- 
row, by means of a channel in the back-bone. The back-^:one 
consist of twenty-five segments of bone, called vertebrae, each 
is separated by gristle and being elastic saves the brain from 
being rudely shaken in our movements, just as elastic springs 
to a carriage lessen the jolting which would be felt without 
them — — ' ' 

G. H. — "Yes! I noticed that the last time I came home 
with a big jag load on, 3 o'clock in the morning, my old wo- 
man kicked me out of bed ; also when I shot the chutes, and 
when I got knocked head over heels by a trolley car while 
coming down here to-day." 

Dr. L. — "If the back-bone be broken and the spinal cord 
pressed upon, then all sensation and motion in the lower 
limbs are lost, and the person is said to be paralyzed " 

G. H— "Drunk?" 

Dr. L — "The Chest or Thorax " 

G. H. — "Throw a axe? " [Looks to right and left in alarm]. 



Dr. L. — "As I said before, the Chest or Thorax consists of 
a bony framework formed by the ribs " 

G. H. — " Perhaps he means borax." 

Dr. L. — "If we look at a sheep's or calf's viscera or 
pluck ' ' 

G. H. — "I have often made a meal of mutton pluck. That's 
what makes me so plucky." 

Dr. L. — "This pluck consists of the liver, heart and lungs, 
or lights " 

G. H. — " Electric or gas lights?" 

T. M. — "You'll get your window lights closed up soon if 
you don't dry up ! " 

G. H. — (Puts his hands before his eyes). 

Dr. L. — "Well, to make a long story short, the human 
being resembles, to a certain extent, a locomotive. The force 
needed to move a train swiftly does not lie in the heavy iron 
work, but in the coals, by the combustion of which, heat is 
produced and this changes the water into steam ; the piston, 
cranks and wheels are a contrivance for turning the power of 
steam into motive power " 

G. H. — " Have I pistols, wheels and cranks inside of me?" 
(Rubbing stomach). 

T. M. — "Your remarks sound like an exploded barrel of 
sauer-kraut." 

Dr. L. — "The bones and muscles answer to the machinery, 
but the motive power itself is dependent on the food we eat. 
Our food is to us what fuel is to the engine ' ' 

G. H. — " Fools in an engine ? What for ? " 

Dr. L. — "A locomotive requires regularly repeated supplies 
of fuel, so man ought to have regular meals " 

G. H. — "Yes, and good, square meals at that. What makes 
you say man ; don't women have to eat, too?" 

Dr. L. — "The bones and muscles are the frame-work of the 
human engine, while the chest and abdomen are the boiler aad 
tender " 

G. H.— "Who's the fireman?" 

Di. L. — "Our food being the coals " 

G. H.— " Who eats coals? I don't." 

Dr. L. — "The brain is the engineer that directs all. When 
the locomotive engineer moves a lever, the steam rushes in and 



puts the machinery in motion. When we wish to move, a 
message goes from the brain to the muscles, along the nerves, 
and the muscles move the bones " 

G. H. — " For instance, if I was to take a fancy to Murphy's 
watch." (Makes a motion towards T. M.'s watch pocket). 

T. M.—" Don't be getting fresh, Dutchy !" 

Dr. L. — "The knee is a hinge-joint " 

G. H.— "A door hinge?" 

Dr. L. — "By which we can kick the leg loosely backwards 
and forwards, as in foot-ball playing, and so forth." 

T. M. — (Swings his legs about and finally falls. G. H. 
laughs at his mishap. T. M. gets up and kicks G. H.) 

G. H. — "What are you trying to do, Irish ?" 

T. M. — "I'm helping the Doctor to demonstrate." 

G. H. — "Demon-strike ! I thought it was an Irish strike ! " 

Dr. L. — "The main bone of the arm, or humerus, goes to 
the elbow, where it meets the bones of the fore-arm " 

G. H. — "Is the humerus the funny bone?" 

Dr. L. — "At the shoulder there is a cup which receives the 
main bone of the arm " 

G. H. — "When I am in my cups, (staggers) I am in danger 
of breaking my cups, (touching shoulder) so I get knocked 
out of my cups by mien frau." 

Dr. L. — "The shoulder-joints are so made as to admit of the 
arm being freely swung about in different directions, which is 
of great advantage to a prize-fighter." 

G. H.— (Strikes at T. M.) 

T. M. — "What are you doing. Dutchy ?" 

G. H. — "I am only demon-striking." 

Dr. ly. — "The ribs are twelve in number. The upper ones 
are immovable. The lower ones move in the act of breathing. 
The muscles of the body clothe the skeleton, move the bones, 
turn the head and bend the back " 

G. H. — " \\ hat is the skeleton doing this for?" (Motions 
with his thumb). 

T. M. — " He wants us to go behind that screen." [Enter 
Dr. Sawemoff]. 

Dr. S. — "Doctor, I have both contracts made out ready to 
sign." 

Dr. ly. — "All right, sir! Mr. Murphy and Mr. Hanslager 



will please sign now." [All four sign]. T. M. and G. H. each 
get theirs and Dr. L. retaining copies. 

Dr. L. — "Mr. Murphy, you will please walk into the next 
room with Dr. Sawemoff, and I will attend to you when i get 
through with our friend Hanslager. " 

G. H.— [Trembling]. "Let him get it done first, then he 
can tell me how it feels." 

T. M. — "A man like you should have no objections to die in 
the cause of science, even though it should cost him his life." 
Dr. L. — "You won't feel it at all." [Picking up a large 
saw]. Exit Dr. S. and T. M, 

G H. — "I gue.ss I won't." [Looking towards exit]. 
Dr. L. to G. H. — "Just be vSeated, while I get some more 
tools." [Exit]. 

G. H. — " More tools ! " [Looks at saw with alarm, finally 
gets out of chair, trembles and so-forth, and then rushes out of 
door]. 

Re-enter Dr. L., (with more instruments). — "Just as I ex- 
pected. I thought he would show the white feather." [Goes 
to door and calls Dr. S. and T. M.] Enter T. M. and Dr. S. 

Dr. L. — (aside)— "We must not let on to Murphy that I did 
not experiment on the Dutchman, or he may get afraid, too, 
and escape us. ' ' 

(To T. M.) Dr. L. — "Well, we are now ready for you, Mr. 
Murphy." 

T. M. — "You can commence as soon as you like on the 
whittling." 

Dr. L. — "We will proceed at once. My assistant will pre- 
pare you for the ordeal behind this screen. [T. M. and Dr. S. 
retire behind screen. T. M. disappears down trap and closes 
trap. Drs. S. and L. remove screen, showing T. M.'s double 
.seated in chair]. 

Dr. L. (to T. M.'s Double). — You may have no fear of any 
pain from the operations, as this new discovery of mine will 
free you from that entirely, and also from all the bad effects 
caused by the use of chloroform or ether. ' ' 

(Dr. applies lotion to T. M.'s double's left elbow and wrist, 
also to left knee and ankle.) "To show there is absolutely no 
pain in these limbs, I prick them with this pin." (Pricks shin, 
calf and forearm of T. M.'s double, then whets large knife, at 



8 

which T. M.'s double looks alarmed, raises his right hand, and 
moves his right foot slightly). 

Dr. L. — (To Dr. S.) "Get a strong rope and tie the man 
firmly in the chair, especially his right arm and leg, otherwise 
he would be liable to cause us to make a mistake. That would 
be dangerous to him, also to my bank account." (Drs. L. and 
S. tie T. M.'s double to chair. Dr. L. whets knife, cuts through 
the sleeve of T. M.'s double, then through the flesh, saws bone, 
(imitating the vSound of the saw with his voice) removes arm. 
T, M.'s double bends his head to look at stump of arm, while 
Dr. L. turns back the cut part of sleeve, and carries the arm to 
front ; returns to instrument table, whets knite. Dr. S, in the 
meantime pulls up the pant's-leg of T. M.'s double's left leg, 
being very careful not to show any of the blood on the leg 
until the cutting begins. Dr. L. cuts leg below knee.) 

Dr. L. — "For a young man, you appear to be pretty tough. 
You must have been living on very tough meat lately." 

(Dr. L. saws with small saw and then with large saw, being 
very careful not to touch the real stump. Dr. L. removes leg, 
carries it to front and lays it down). 

Dr. L. — "This is about all you can stand at present, and as 
we have left you no hand to hold a crutch with, on the side 
that you need a crutch, we will have to get you an artificial 
leg. We will, in the meantime, dissect the arm and leg, leav- 
ing you to recuperate from the shock, and so-forth." (Drs. L. 
and S. pick up arm and leg]. Exit. Curtain. 

ENCORE. 

Dr. L. — "We will now amputate your right hand. Now, 
notice the rapidity with which this new anaesthetic works. 
(Dr. L. applies anaesthetic to T. M.'s double's right wrist, the 
fingers wriggling about in the meantime, and then suddenly 
becoming rigid, standing out straight. Then Dr. L.. by use of 
trick-knife, cuts through the wrist of T. M.'s double, laying 
the hand on the table with wrist concealed by red cloth. 

CURTAIN. 
[Or the encore can be done before the curtain, by using 
Murphy in person instead of his double, Murphy passing the 
trick-knife through his own wrist, after Drs. L. and S. have 
applied lotion]. 



This Sketch is entirely original. Anyone infringing on my rigiits will be 
prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 

A. W. FLETCHER, 
Copyrighted, 1895. 3124 Carlisle St., Philadelphia, Pa. 



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